Lately I’ve been a victim of Toxic Masculinity while also being attacked by women of the #MenCan’tHaveMyDrink movement for appropriating female culture by ordering my favorite drink at the bar; a Vodka-Sprite.

It’s the crisp, clean taste of Sprite, the hint of lime, and ya top it off with a little (read as a double) of Russian water, it’s a blue-chip drink. But now all sudden I’m being mocked and ridiculed for enjoying a “girly drink”? Ugh. Granted, I didn’t order the manliest thing on the menu like a smelly beer or an aged double-barrel Scotch on the rocks, which tastes like rocket fuel and smells like the underside of the Craftsman lawnmower I’d cut the grass with, but I wasn’t on my period or ordering a Cranberry drink like Leo from ‘The Departed’.

I maybe in the minority here, but I love a good mixed drink at the bar and being a lanky guy with a paper stomach I can’t stomach more than a handful of beers before I feel like a balloon. Jack & Coke is the Dallas Cowboys of mixed drinks, just overrated and a thing of the past. Rum & Cokes are acceptable if you’re near a body of water and its above 75 degrees. So, for the remaining 8-9 months of the year you’ll find me sipping’ something cold, clear, crisp, and with a hint of lemon-lime, the people’s mixie, the Vodka-Sprite.