Fellas, we fucking made it! October is here. Playoff baseball, College football, the NFL, Hockey is back and the NBA is right around the corner. We don’t get our degenerate balls tickled like this again until the return of college hoops. already got a rock hard chub thinking about the Maui tournament.

I started writing this the second Altuve just took Glasnow deep and I desperately need the Stros RL so I’m taking that as a sign that we’re gonna clean up this weekend.

Week 5 report: 4-3 (57%) +6.6U

Season report: 21-16-1 (56.8%) +9.36U

UCF (TT) 31.5 (-130) @ Cincinnati (2 Units) Friday 7pm

UCF is gonna score 45+ a game for the rest of the season.

Penn State -28.5 HOME vs. Purdue (8 Units) Noon

Yea I swore off Penn State. I said they were toast two weeks ago. Throw that out the window, this team is fast and the defense is still as good as I said it was. Yea its a high number but Purdue is missing their starting QB and best wideout. Swallow the points and start the slate in Green Dot City. Keep an eye out for Penn State team total. I’m going to take it and add it to my card but the line isn’t public just yet.

LSU -27.5 HOME vs. Utah State (4 Units) Noon

I always hate making it look like I just take heavy chalk each week but its college football, you kinda have to. LSU coming off the bye week with extra time to prepare against a dogshit opponent. Yea we said at the top it’s October, but its still Louisiana. Noon kickoff looks to be around 90 degrees. Look for the Mormons to get winded early and lose by 35+

Oklahoma -32.5 @ Kansas (2 Units) Noon

Just like Ohio State, I think I’m just gonna start taking Oklahoma every single week. Jalen Hurts easily looks like the best QB in college. Good luck trying to contain that dude in the air or on the ground. How long until Lincoln Riley is in the NFL?

Florida +125 HOME vs. Auburn (2 Units) 3:30

This isn’t the first time I faded Bo Nix but this is the time I am gonna be right. Eventually, the dudes gotta lose right?

UAB -9.5 HOME vs. Rice (2 Units) 7

Rice flat out stinks. Don’t overthink it.

Ohio State -20.5 HOME vs. Michigan State (4 Units) 7:30

It’s tough to win in Columbus under the lights. Add in the fact that your QB flat out stinks and yea you’re gonna be 20 point underdogs. Shoutout Justin Fields for helping pay my student loans.

California/Oregon O 46.5 (2 Units) 8

Oregon might cover this themselves.

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Ernie El's