I’m a big D.C. sports hater. I’m a die hard Philadelphian who goes to college with exclusively D.C. suburban kids (NOVA stinks) who have to suffer the misery of being a D.C. fan. These people see nothing but failure besides the one year the Caps had success and they deserve better. Even though they have little loyalty and are a doormat sports city, they are good people and don’t deserve this cruel treatment from Dan Snyder. Here’s what I would do if I had my druthers with this disgrace to the NFL.

Have Dan Snyder sell the team, and then promptly move them to Toronto to play in the AFC East and have the Jets come play in the NFC East with their big brother the New York Football Giants. This fills a void in a hungry Canadian market and relieves our nations capital from decades of despair and corruption from King Snyder’s gruesome reign. Also Canadians will be more accepting of a dubee puffin’, young woman mackin’ head coach.

Not only is there owner inept, but their home games are 50/50 split between Skins fans and their opposition. Is this because of all the transplants that D.C. gets for government work? Nope. They are just spineless because their owner hasn’t given them hope since the days of Adam & Eve. If the team moves to Toronto no one will want to pay for international airfare or go to Canada, which will dramatically ensure that opposing teams don’t conquer the stadium. No worries for a funeral, the city’s been planning this since ’09

With these two initial implementations I think I have fixed the Washington Redskins. I will take my Medal of Freedom whenever Mr. President. O, and Go Birds.

Barnes
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