If you like violence (and who doesn’t), then boy do I have news for you. There are 3, count em, 3 strong fight cards this weekend and better yet, I’ve got winners for all 3 cards.

Bellator kicks off a weekend of excellent human cock fights with Bellator 239 Friday night. I won’t spend too much time here because frankly I know no one really gives a shit, but I got in the lab and I have a parlay that has me licking my chops.

Bellator 239 Play: 3 way parlay, Tyrell Fortune -700, Myles Jury -250, Ed Ruth +135. Pays just under 3/1 at +270

Now to the big dogs. There’s a second Bellator card on Saturday night but if we’re being honest?

We’ve got a sneaky good UFC on ESPN+ and the + is not having to pay Uncle Dana for a damn PPV event. I’m just going to highlight the spots I like for gambling purposes because otherwise this will be a 5000 word blog. If you follow me on Twitter you know I went 5-1 for +5.3 units on last weekend’s card.

Some would say that’s not too shabby! And I’ve been meaning to put pen to paper on some UFC picks for a minute anyway so what better excuse. Now let’s make some mother fuckin money.

UFC Card

Angela Hill -170 v. Loma Lookboonme (+150) (I swear on my life that’s her name)

If you follow MMA closely, then you know Angela Hill. If not, allow me to introduce you:

This video is missing highlights from her last 2 UFC victories, a TKO over Hannah Cifers just 3 weeks ago and another TKO over Ariane Carnelossi. She’s had her ups and downs but she appears to be surging right now and momentum is a very real thing in the fight game (see Jorge Masvidal’s entire 2019). Either way, I love Hill in this spot. 1.7 units to win 1 unit at -170, feed me. The under 2.5 at +255 is also quite appetising.

Jake Matthews (-225) v. Emil Meek (+175)

This bout has a chance to surprise and be a real banger in my opinion. Matthews will have a decent advantage in the grappling and submission game with 7 of his career 15 wins coming by way of sub. However, Meek has actually never been submitted in his professional career and was able to go the distance with current Welterweight Champ Kamaru Usman in 2018. Look for Meek to keep this one on the feet and win with his hands. Don’t be scared to dabble in Meek by KO when the line becomes available, it’ll be hefty.

Kai Kara France (-265) v Tyson Nam (+205)

At only 26 and with a professional record of 20-8, Kai Kara France has established himself as one of the brightest young prospects in the UFC and he is already ranked 8th in the flyweight division. His loss to Brandon Moreno in his last fight snapped an 8 fight win streak and I imagine he comes out hungry and looking for a finish. I know -265 is some hefty juice so maybe consider him a parlay piece and if you want some value bet under 2.5 at +175, I’ll be on both.

Dan Hooker (-155) v. Paul Felder (+125)

This is gonna be an absolute gem of a fight. Just 2 guys who really enjoy them some violence. Dan Hooker will have a decent reach advantage but in the I think he has trouble with The Irish Dragon’s striking angles. Felder is known for throwing spinning elbows and backfists and somehow always seems to find a way to land a devastating strike either straight through or around an opponent’s guard. There’s no angle he can’t attack from. I imagine Hooker will try to keep him at bay with the jab in the early rounds, but once Felder establishes his range I think he lands a funky elbow and puts the Hangman to sleep. Felder +125 and u4.5 -130, book it.

Dropkick Murphys makes me wanna fight

Oh, and did I mention we also have the most anticipated boxing match the millenia this weekend? Truck yeah. Full disclosure, I’m an MMA guy. I enjoy MMA at almost any level more than I enjoy boxing at the highest level, but that just doesn’t apply to Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury.

The Bronze Bomber (-135) v. The Gypsy King (+105)

I think how you view this fight says a lot about you as a fan of combat sports. On one hand, we have Deontay Wilder, an extremely accomplished heavyweight champ who has been able to rely on raw power and natural talent for his entire career. It’s almost insulting to fans of boxing that Wilder hasn’t bothered to refine his craft and perfect the sweet science all these years later, but I guess he also doesn’t need my advice because he’s the heavyweight champ of the world and I’m a degenerate blogger with a bad hip. Ho Hum. Also who on Deontay’s team is gonna pipe up with “uh hey Deontay maybe we should work on anything other than an overhand right today” and have him stare into their soul? Hard pass. And on the other end of the spectrum, we have the Gypsy King Tyson Fury. Fury picked up boxing at the age of 12 and is perhaps the most impressive technical striker the sport has ever seen. And I truly do mean that. A 6’9″ 300 lb man who used to weigh 4 bills and be addicted to drugs just shouldn’t be able to move like that. Fury definitely doesn’t have the power Wilder does, but if he can manage distance well I see him just pointing Wilder to death and winning a decision. So, those are my thoughts. Take Tyson Fury at +105 and thank me later. If for some reason you plan on fading me I do still have some advice: You’re a dummy if you bet Deontay without betting the under. That’s all, just a little nugget of wisdom for the road.

TLDR Picks summary:

3 way parlay, Tyrell Fortune -700, Myles Jury -250, Ed Ruth +135. Pays just under 3/1 at +270

Angela Hill -170

Emil Meek +175

Kai Kara France -265, u2.5 +175

Paul Felder +125 u4.5 -130

Tyson Fury +105

Happy violent trails pals.