I like to think of myself as a pretty big MLB guy, but even I can admit that my fandom pales in comparison to Zack Hample. There’s a greater than chance probability you have no idea who that is just by the name, so allow me to introduce his alter ego, Foul Ball Guy. I absolutely love the cut of his jib. Anybody who is this passionate about something is a-okay with me. This guy has snagged over 10,000 baseballs in his lifetime at baseball games and has boxed out children and elderly people alike in pursuit of a baseball that can’t cost any more than $10. Seriously, his work on the boards rivals Chuck Barkley in his prime. You gotta give it to him though, his range and glove talent rival a lot of big leaguers, and is probably better than someone like Kyle Schwarber in left.

Being that I’m crushed about the delayed start to the season, I have to imagine that he doesn’t know what to do with himself, so I decided to check out his social media accounts and see what he’s been up to. I obviously don’t follow him on Twitter, but I honestly should have been because this is top shelf stuff. Most of his tweets are replies to haters, of which I find myself taking Zack’s side almost every time, but he did link to his YouTube a couple of times so I decided to check it out.

He does mostly vlogs of stadium visits during the season. He can’t do that now, so he’s been posting videos of his baseball takes, which I skipped right past to get to the moneymaker video. His Mona Lisa if you will.

Please do not watch all 45 minutes (unless your quarantine is going really poorly), but skip around to see what I’m talking about here. This is outstanding stuff.

First off, whoever designed the bobblehead he unboxes 9 minutes in should be thrown in jail. How can you make a bobblehead of one of the most famous bald guys in the game… and give him a full head of hair? Bald guys who embrace the bald have arguably more going for them than those with a full head of lettuce. I thought Zack was one of those, but now I’m not so sure.

The part of the video I’d say would be most likely to win an Oscar is right at the halfway point when he cracks into the bag of peanuts. He struggles to even get the bag open, then drops the hammer line “I love to sniff nuts”. You just know he watched that over and over before posting and thought he struck gold.

At around the 40 minute mark he starts messing around with baseball rubbing mud, which I wasn’t even sure you could buy. Knowing him he probably slid into Joe Torre’s DMs and asked to be sent a few tubs.

I think we should all pour one out for Zack tonight and pray the MLB season happens, nobody should have to deal with this kind of heartbreak.

Stay safe everybody.

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