(Book of Violence Psalm 2:49)

Everyone take a deep breath. Relax. Rejoice. Really just soak it all in. Next weekend, we will have live sports. And not just any live sports, but live MMA, the best kind of sports there is.

Before we get the juices really flowing let’s get the bad news out of the way: Khabib Tony is BIG cancelled. That fight just couldn’t be more cursed. Just when we thought it would never get more ridiculous than Tony tripping over a wire at media day before the 4th scheduling of Khabib Tony and a fight couldn’t possibly be more cursed, Khabib gets stuck in Dagestan folding towels because of a world ending pandemic. Ho Hum! Personally I’m convinced we never see this fight and at the rate we’re going now it’s gonna be Floyd v. Pacqiuao where it happens at a point in their careers it just doesn’t have the same spark it should.

Alright, now that we’ve gotten the negativity out of our system, I am still fucking jacked up for Tony Ferguson v. Justin Gaethje. Ferguson is a relative star but Gaethje still may be a little unknown to the casual UFC fan. Allow me to introduce you:

If you can’t tell from those videos, Gaethje’s fight plan is generally a simple one: Move forward through the punches and punch his opponent more and harder than he gets punched. While I might sound like a moron describing the basics of a fight, that really is the plan. His defense isn’t great, bad head movement, okay footwork, but my lord he might have the heaviest hands in a STACKED lightweight division. That and he’ll throw basically anything. It’s featured in 2 of those videos above but I think Gaethje is one of only a handful of fighter to ever throw a rolling thunder kick in a fight. For the uninitiated, the rolling thunder is that frontflip kick you see him throw in the second video. It rarely works and leaves you very vulnerable so fighters are reluctant to throw it but my lord when that heel catches someone right on the chin it’s nothing short of violent artwork.

I imagine most people are more familiar with “El Cucuy” Tony Ferguson. He fights like a ninja and trains like someone you’d creepily record at the gym for being a lunatic.

Now, on top of being a workout weirdo, El Cucuy also happens to be a world class striker and jiu jitsu practitioner. Make no mistake about it, Ferguson is 10x the technical fighter Gaethje is and will have a significant advantage in grappling exchanges. But, the beauty of a guy with hands as heavy as Gaethje’s is that all he needs is a puncher’s chance and as long as he isn’t getting full on grapple-fucked and dragged around the Octagon, he’ll have it.

Just so you know I’m not lying to you, my dear internet pal, here are some Tony Ferguson highlights that should help you kill a few minutes. And how dare you accuse me of lying. Very unbecoming.

This is nothing if not a fan friendly fight. And that’s great news! Why do you ask? First off you are way too inquisitive today, tone it down before I accuse you of being a cawp.

Secondly and to answer your question, it’s the only fight currently booked on the UFC 249 Card. There’s been a lot of buzz about Ngannou Rozenstruik possibly sneaking onto the card as well as Woodley v. Covington and some others. I had a blog mostly written detailing the fights I’d like to see Uncle Dana fill the card with, but our evil wordpress overlords decided I should fuck myself and deleted it. Another score for the computers in our ongoing war. So, I’m gonna save my thoughts on the rest of the card for when we hopefully have a few more fights or for when I’m less angry at technology.

While the Location TBA part kinda scares me, I don’t think Dana White would announce the fight if he didn’t have something in place and apparently the UFC is zeroing in on a location on the west coast. I’m personally hoping for international waters but as long as we get some violence I really don’t give a shit.

Stay safe pals. I’d love to hear all your bad combat sports takes @Harry__Mac on twitter.