Someone please revive Unk, as it is clear he has lost his mind.
Unk, known by the twitter handle @unktweets69, has raised the question: Would you give up summer for football? His answer, while it is quite shocking, was an astounding YES. This has caused a massive leap in my already elevated blood pressure. My blood pressure is alarming high for my age, but that’s another issue as McDonalds keeps offering the McPick Two.
Anyway, I was in complete disbelief as this person, Unk, decided to forget the greatest thing in the world, Summer. While I am an avid football fan, I am not naive enough to think it is better than the most cherished season. And for that I felt the need to give the people what they want, as it seems some have forgotten the true meaning of summer.
After a long work week, it strikes Friday at 5 P.M. and you scurry off to gather your belongs in which you packed the night before. A bookbag with one bar outfit, a bathing suit, and flip flops. You pile into the back of an overcrowded Honda Civic that your friend can get to an from the beach on a quarter tank (wildly efficient). Up 95, listening to summer hits of the 90s, and securing a couple cases of the finest warm bud light. Making sure that you stop prior to entering the greatest beach town, that is Sea Isle to avoid the overpriced beverages. Immediately upon arriving, you toss your bookbag in the foyer of your friend’s parent’s beach house who are a little disappointed the whole crew decided to stay for the weekend. Cracking open some beers, talking about how sweaty the Ocean Drive is going to be tonight. Laughing, making memories, and thinking about nothing else besides what random person from your high school you might hit up to pregame at their house. The work week was tough, but every single day you dreamed of the moment you are in now. The weekend is filled with drinking, bar hopping, and drinking some more on the beach. From the steaming dance floor of the OD to napkins at Dead Dog, you my friend enjoyed every second of that weekend. And guess what, thats only MDW. Your future is bright, filled with many more weekends of summer drinking down the beach with friends.
Foregoing the summer, is like foregoing drinking water, it simply isn’t an option. For our friend, Unk, to have such an outlandish statement, I am truly sorry. But the people need what the people want and that’s the weekends at the Jersey Shore. Be better my friend, be better.