Being that there are no physical sports on, we all have to turn to different outlets to quench our thirst for competition. Whether it is the GFSL or Esports (both of which The Basement has been doing a wonderful job covering), everyone has a different way of getting their fix. I didn’t think mine would be dominating the stock market, but with the way oil has been going recently, it became a necessity.

I have to admit, I have no idea how the following tweet is possible but it really piqued my interest.

How can anything have a negative price? Wouldn’t that mean that they pay us $54 to take a barrel of oil? Being the opportunistic lad I am, I had to do some research on how to buy some oil for myself, which started with a simple question thrown out to my Twitter followers.

A quick trip to Yahoo showed that there’s actually an easy way to get equity in oil in a pretty quick fashion – the United States Oil ETF, ticker $USO. This fund checks multiple boxes of mine when buying a stock: (1) it is at a five year low, so there is (theoretically) nowhere to go but up, and (2) it is an essential good to society. I can’t imagine a world where oil is not demanded heavily. Once we’re out of this pandemic that stock is going to be on a rocket ship to Mars. I had to send on it, and so I bought a few (hundred) shares. You can call me a lot of things; timid ain’t one of them.

Excited about my new purchase and status as an oil mogul, I took to Twitter to brag about how in a couple years I’m gonna be rich. It was at this point when I realized that I may not have done enough research on the matter.

Before you ask, no I do not know or follow this Johnny Hopkins character. Out of all the things for me to get chirped by a rando on Twitter about I wouldn’t have thought in a million years it would be my stake in the oil market. I’m still not even sure if what he’s telling me is a positive or negative thing with regards to $USO. The only thing I know for a fact is that he won’t be laughing when I have a bunch of barrels to my name and we’re back to status quo ante bellum. This is and always was gonna be a long play.

I’m gonna figure out when the next OPEC meeting is because I kind of have to be invited at this point, right? I’ve got plenty of frequent flier miles and can make trips out to Austria, where they’re headquartered, if necessary.

What hot stocks am I missing from my portfolio? Let me know @jziller17.

*DISCLAIMER: I am not an investment advisory service.

Latest posts by Stevie J (see all)