I scroll Twitter for no less than five hours every day on average. I find myself flabbergasted at different accounts day in and day out, but I recently found one that really grinds my gears on a whole new level. His name is “Rahim The Terp” and man does this anonymous keyboard warrior suuuuck. If the Twitter name wasn’t enough to figure this out, he is a diehard fan of the football powerhouse that is the University of Maryland.

I grew up less than an hour from UMD in the suburbs of Northern Virginia and my mom, a Clemson alum, used to take us to College Park for football games back when Maryland was in the ACC and would play the Tigers. One of my first memories was back in 2007 when my family got to sit two rows behind the Clemson bench and little nine-year-old Jake spent the whole game shooting the shit with the mascot and even got a pair of gloves after the game from a player.

I also remember how earlier in the game, a couple dickhead UMD students were cursing up a storm drunk as hell behind us and when my mom politely asked them to stop corrupting the youth that was myself and my seven-year-old brother, they told her to fuck off. Thus blossomed my primal hatred for this institution, which has been taken to the next level since being a student at Penn State.

Now for the record, I am a huge Penn State football fan, but I’m also realistic. I understand where we fall in the pecking order both nationally and within the conference which allows me to keep my hopes in check every December (or whenever we play Ohio State). Mr. RahimTerp doesn’t seem to have that mental capacity as he thinks Maryland football will be contending for the playoff every year for some reason. Yes, the Maryland team that has one winning season since joining the B1G in 2014 and is coming off a 3-9 season where they didn’t win a game after October 5, lost by 30+ five times and lost 59-0 to PSU on a Friday night after cancelling classes for the day. Yikes.

Sure, its fun to be an overly-hopeful fan when your school (assuming he’s not a 15-year-old) is starving you for success, but then we do a deep-dive into his tweets.

Now I’m not the smartest person on the planet, but I’d say posting this under 17-year-old kids’ profiles who are trying to choose colleges to play football at isn’t really a good reflection on your program. Especially when you mention a fraternity lawsuit (?), a made up lawsuit from a former player looking for immediate transfer eligibility and the actions of a scumbag coach who has been dead for *checks notes* eight and a half years.

When I first discovered my friend Rahim, it was right after 4-star OL Landon Tengwall from Maryland committed to PSU. Rahim can’t wrap his head around why top prospects from the DMV wouldn’t want to go play at Maryland, where a sellout game is roughly half of the capacity of PSU, OSU and Michigan. This brings us to his main argument:

Ah yes, the low-hanging Sandusky fruit that only people who don’t have a valid point left in their arguments choose to pick and eat.

The #1 dual threat QB of the Class of 2021, Caleb Williams, has recently listed UMD in his final four schools, but the 24/7 Crystal Ball has him 100% projected to quarterback factory Oklahoma. Rahim has now started attacking Oklahoma fans because their quarterback production is bad? I guess a couple playoff appearances, Heisman trophies and #1 picks isn’t enough for our Maryland faithful that hasn’t had a QB drafted since 1991.

 

He also makes a lot of notes how Lincoln Riley is overrated and relies on transfer talent that was developed at other programs to win, which is awfully hilarious because Maryland just landed transfer QB Taulia Tagovailoa from deep within the Alabama depth chart, and all of a sudden he’s the second coming of Jesus H. Christ himself.

I don’t really know what you want to do with all this information, but my only suggestion is to steer clear of powerful drugs, and I’ll leave you with this one final tweet from Mr. Terp to really seal the deal. Bring this blog back up in three years when Maryland is still finishing fourth in the division.

Follow me on Twitter @Jake_From_SFarm