It hurts when people lie to us.
We want to believe our hero’s when they make promises. We want to take people’s words as truth and have faith that they’ll deliver. Friendships simmer, relationships are broken, divorces, fights, you’re parent’s being disappointing in you, not mad. Lies destroy our connections with people and diminish our credibility.
Often times, celebrities make claims that they can’t keep. Let’s take a look at the most painful celebrity lies of 2020.
PAPA JOHN LYING ABOUT EATING 40 PIZZAS IN 30 DAYS
Never have I trusted the veracity of a man only to be completely devastated and shattered more than the Papa. When the man wildly claimed he ate 40 pizzas in 30 days, I believed him. I found comfort in knowing that other humans demolish family size pizzas by themselves in one sitting. I looked that greasy pizza fabricator right in his eyes and he lied. The only thing weirder about publicly claiming you ate 40 pizzas in 30 days is taking it back after the world makes fun of you. You already committed to this outlandish feat, now you’re just the freak who lied about it. By the way, if you order Papa Johns and there’s a Domino’s in your area, seek medical help. Enjoy your pepperoni’s in hell, Papa.
DOJA CAT PROMISING THE INTERNET BOOBIES
Many people have made false claims that I’m horny online. This is not the case. Gullible? Possibly, but I’m a man of honor and integrity. So when rap artist Doja Cat promised to everyone that she would reveal her breasts if her new album got to Number 1 in the world, I trusted her. We all trusted her. Yet again, my friends, we’ve been fooled. bamboozled. led a stray. She ended up taking it back and basically admitting she played us all. As the old adage plays, sex sells. Goes to show you how powerful the horny men of the internet can be- let’s use our powers for good and not be taken advantage of people!
BIG ED LIES TO ROSEMARY
If you’re not watching 90 Day Fiance you’ve done yourself a massive disservice. Basically people in America have 90 days to decide if they want to marry someone from another country. This man is Big Ed, cleverly titled by the internet as No-Neck Ed. Here is the woman he was set to marry.
Apparently, Ed wasn’t 100 percent truthful about a few things over messaging conversations. Shocking, I know. Ed told Rosemary that he is 5’2… when he showed up in the Philippines, there he was standing at 4’11. Total deception.
I will say.. If you’re going to lie about your height to a woman half-way across the globe, make yourself 5’8 at least. Ed also told Rosemary that he would be interested in having kids, despite later admitting on the show he wanted to get a vasectomy. This guy has been all over the internet, mostly people making fun of the way he looks juxtaposed with his absurd confidence. I hope this couple makes it honestly.
Who did I miss?
- Stop #KinkShaming Odell - September 8, 2020
- Introducing a New Bookie’s Basement Series, “Pani’s Guide to Gas Station Delicacies” - August 13, 2020
- Portnoy Interviews Trump: Big Cat Weighs In - July 24, 2020