Yes, I tested positive for Covid-19 despite being symptom-free, and the doctor telling me it could’ve been a false positive, but that’s not what this blog is about. I’m a healthy (doctor told me so) 22 year old living in a college townhouse by myself at the moment because my roommates (all of whom tested negative for Covid-19) have gone home for the summer, so quarantining and getting rid of the virus isn’t the issue. My real fight with Covid-19 was with the nasal swab test. Coronavirus would be scared of that test, and rightfully so.
The nasal swab test used for COVID-19 kicked my ass, which is funny because the real coronavirus hasn’t done anything to me, I’ve been 100% asymptomatic. I just wanted to get tested before I left college to go home. Before I got tested, I had seen some videos of the test, and it didn’t look as bad as my experience was. Did it look fun? God no. Did it look like a colonoscopy when you’re not put under anesthesia? No, not that bad. Nonetheless, I was taken out by the corona test.
After shoving what had to be the offspring of a sword and a cue tip in both nostrils up through my skull, I passed out. I saw the swabs covered in blood and I dipped my head between my legs telling the doctor, “I’m about to pass the F out”. I felt like I was going through the matrix, while simultaneously going through an exorcism. It was as close to an out of body experience as I can recall. I don’t know if I passed out or had a seizure, or both, but I got my butt kicked by the test. The nurse specifically made a note to tell me I hadn’t had a stroke, so yea I was bugging out the second those sword swabs exited my nostrils.
After getting my blood sugar checked and crushing a Gatorade that the nurses gave me (shout out health care workers), I walked out of the office with my tail between my legs, being the loser who got knocked out by coronavirus test. Am I bummed I got coronavirus? Eh, yes and no. On one hand I don’t want to risk giving it to anyone, so thankfully I’m isolated in a townhouse by myself 4 hours away from family/friends. However on the other hand, this is pretty good for Barney Buckets to get the message out to the people to keep following health protocols and social distancing practices. It’s not a big deal if you’re young and healthy and get it, because you’ll have minor symptoms, or like myself, you’ll have none at all. You just don’t want to be the young and immature kid who thinks he/she is invincible, and spreads it to someone whose body would not be able to combat this virus. No matter how you slice it, you don’t want the virus, and you don’t wanna have to get tested for the virus.
T&P’s to all those going through this illness, but the coronavirus test ain’t no joke either. Shout out to all the medical workers, fire fighters, police officers, EMT’s, and all first responders/those who risk their lives, and health, to help others in this trying time. For all you out there, wear a mask, wash your hands, practice proper social distancing, and don’t expect the coronavirus test to take it easy on you.
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