I Just Fixed WaWa

Firstly, I want to offer my apologies for not posting in awhile. For the last week or so, I’ve been getting my masters in journalism. Or I’ve been watching a lot of shitty movies on Netflix, I’ll let you decide.

Recently, I’ve noticed that I’ve been eating more Wawa than ever. I usually get my coffee there in the morning, maybe a hoagie for lunch, and sometimes a fat-guy dinner milkshake around midnight. I love Wawa. It’s homey, it’s a community institution in neighborhoods all across the northeast. It’s a place to grab a Gatorade and a sizzlie before your CYO basketball game, and do the same the night after a million beers.

With every great institution however, there is always room for changes and improvements. I just had the thought that Wawa should add a touch-screen option to add chips to your sandwich that got some good feedback on Twitter.

Wawa needs to add an option on the touch screen to throw chips in ur Sammy.

— pani (@thelittlepanman) June 6, 2020

This prompted me to think of a few other ideas on how Wawa could improve. Become a gas-station hoagie revolutionary if you will. Now, we do have to be fair and reasonable. I can’t say like gourmet burgers or steaks, we need to work within the realm of reality here.

1. A Cuban Sandwich

A Cubano is possibly the most delicious sandwich out there. It’s a perfect greasy bastard to eat when you’re banged up, and a nice treat for mid-day lunch. Let’s bring some damn culture into the double Wa’s. It’s also relatively simple to make. Just get a panini presser in there and call it a day.

2. Get Rid of The Cheese-steak

If you get a cheese-steak from Wawa, I don’t even know what to say to you. This is a bad look for Philly. When my cousins came in from California one time they ordered Wawa cheesesteaks and thought they were getting an authentic Philly steak experience. I didn’t have the heart to tell them how shitty these were, they were too excited. The steak at WaWa is absolutely horrific. The whiz is even worse. Get these off the menu’s, at least in Philly.

3. Acquire Some BBQ Fries

Easily one of my most frequented items at WaWa is the Andy Capp’s Hot Fries. I love those suckers, despite them absolutely destroying your mouth. Now I’ve always been a buffalo over barbecue man, but as a journalist for the people, I know there are some BBQ lovers who’d die to get their hands on these. Any WaWa that I’ve been to has only had the Hot, and the Ranch which just sounds kind of disgusting.

4. Get a New Iced Coffee System.

I don’t know what it is about the iced coffee at WaWa but to me, it’s absolutely nauseating. Their regular hot coffee always tastes great, but something goes seriously wrong when there’s this pre-made mix of water, milk, flavorings, and stale coffee. When you order the coffee from behind the counter, it always takes forever and you end up buying some mocha mint caramel bullshit that you didn’t intend to. Ice Coffee is an essential item during the summer, we need to perfect this craft.

5. A Cereal Station

Now might night be a good time to introduce something like this given our health crisis situation, but this is a smash hit when (if) things go back to normal. Who doesn’t love cereal? It’s refreshing, delicious, and sugary but not in a guilty afterwards kind of way. There are times when you want breakfast, but you don’t want a greasy ass heavy bacon egg and cheese sizzle to give you diarrhea during your Art history class at 9 am. You also don’t want to nibble on those fucking nature valley bars that disintegrate like Spider man in End Game once you pull them out of the wrapper. Let’s get some Lucky Charms going, cocoa puffs, cap’n’crunch, you name it. Be careful with your cereal in the car though…