I’ve written a lot of meaningless and stupid blogs, and this might be the dumbest one of all, but here me out here. Bell peppers flat out slap and I want to give them some love.

I had some sliced red bell peppers last night for dinner, and they were fire. It had me wondering how the red pepper stacked up against his bell pepper brothers. I’m an NBA team with a lottery pick, and I can’t afford to take a bust in a bad bell pepper. I present to you, the Bell Pepper Power Rankings.

1. Yellow


Don’t get fooled by the mass media, the red bell pepper is in fact NOT the best bell pepper. This is the 2007 NBA Draft when Portland chose the Greg Oden (the red bell pepper) over the sleeper with upside Kevin Durant (the yellow bell pepper), and we all know how that ended up. It’s a little spicier than the red one’s, so if you’re a softie and can’t take the heat then avoid it. We don’t softies on Team Yellow Bell Pepper.

2. Red


If bell peppers were stocks, then the red bell pepper is blue-chip as hell. It’s Amazon, Google, etc. Everyone has it on a veggie tray, and everyone is roasting them in the oven. They are a great pick, but their ceiling isn’t as high in my mind as the yellow bell pepper.

3. Green


Not the best on it’s own, but throw it in a salsa and we have some magic. The green bell pepper is the 3rd best receiver on the team. His jersey isn’t selling like hot cakes, but he get’s his respect.

4. Orange


Who the hell eats orange bell peppers?