I love when food companies have animals as their official spokesfigure. Frosted Flakes has Tony the Tiger, Planters has Mr. Peanut (RIP, I guess he died and now has a son or something. That’s lame), and Vlasic Pickles has a stork.

Holy shit, that stork is smooth as butter. No wonder why these birds deliver birds. Sex and pickles, that’s what storks do.

stork baby

This is an older stork too. This is the grandpa stork who’s recently retired from years of being a corporate big-baller. He’s golfing everyday, watching the grand kids, and still running the show at family parties. He’s the Don, the kingpin, the big chief.

I’m taking the Vlasic Stork over everyone, no contest.

Food Mascot AP Top 10:

  1. Vlasic Stork
  2. Kool-Aid Man
  3. Chester the Cheetah (Cheetah)
  4. Captain Crunch
  5. Voice of the Jimmy Dean Breakfast Commercials
  6. The Cinnamon from Apple Jacks
  7. The Yellow M&M
  8. Chef Boyardee
  9. Nesquik Bunny
  10. The Burger King circa 2008-2010

Honorable Mention

The Cheerios Bee (heart health is cool), Tootsie Pop Owl, Mr. P (Julius Pringles) who would be a top 5 pick if he talked, and The Hamburger Helper